paulie
2004-11-17 14:10:58 UTC
well i'll be ( over there )
+++
well i'll be fucked
was writin about di last night
she's been over in New Zealand
just sent me a message
called me gorgeous again
hmm
+++
a boy can't help it
+++
"if i write about melissa"
"will she contact me th next day ?"
sorry
"bugger"
+++
"real life sucks , where are th drugs ?"
haven;t arrived yet
you'll have to make do with these
+++
"am i allowed to miss er ?"
i guess
+++
i wrote that condom story up last night di
th one you used to tell your friends
cause i was thinkin on what
karen was gunna read in my diary
doin you in th front door of th grannie bar
and stuff
out there girl
there's about three years of you
on weekends
and me
and th things we all got up to
wonder how karen will read the
dirty dancin with five of your friends
while you go hit another bar
takin phone numbers for durin th week
actually she knows
been livin vicariously thru me for a while
just wants to read it
rather than listen to it
i guess i am hard to turn off
where's th fuckin switch ?
anyway magic girl
i'll see ya
+++
coffee sometime soon
+++
and not in that restaurant where th male waiter has a crush on me
ok ?
+++
i have enough gay guys
askin me to take my clothes off
+++
"it's not still bothering you ?"
would i have stuck that blow up baseball up my bum
and ridden round th valley after midnight on th unicycle if it was ?
"i dunno"
some of those comments man
make my bottom sore just thinkin about it
+++
oh sweet lady of lethargia
don;t fail me now
+++
i'm still fucked about bree di
a man should never fall in love with two women at th same time
dont have to have sex with em
to be madly in love
s'pose i should add lee to that
with bree and lee both dirty dancin with me
half hour after i climbed outta your bed
was mad
crawlin back into bed
round six am
after singin
and unicylin
and dancin all night
come to think of it
it's a fuckin long time
since i've gone clubbin with facepaint
memories hey ?
leavin
paint all over your shower
i cant really paint here
facepaint that is
bathroom is too close to he
who sleeps light
ppl stil flip out th same but
i do it on occasion
full moons and stuff
just wanna say i had a good time
+++
bree
you haven;t haunted me in a while
stopped talkin to di for a bit
and i stopped thinkin of ya
somehow
in my mind
i can never let go
of th weekends i spent
sleepin at di's on friday and saturday
and your place on sundays
my toe that got run over by th forklift
healed well
and i got to keep it
affected my unicycling for a good eighteen months though
took ages to find that edge again
i sometimes wonder
whether
you still have my first unicycle
and whether you ever had another go
rode three pedals backwards on yur first attempt
and silly me
i fell in love
memories of running down a beach with you
and sitting by th river
soaking my damaged toe in th water
and smoking cones with ya
in your bed
goin dirty dancing together
and laughing with ya
cause they all thought we were screwin
cept di of course
she made sure i was damn empty
before i went to sleep with you
fuck we were strange
and lee
felt like a ping pong ball
and you and di and i
all had a little siver hatch
but bree
the day that always sticks out in my mind
is th day i pulled in th drive
and i'd stopped at th supercheap store
and bought a car spnge
on th way
you had th hos ein your hand
a perplexed look on your gorgeous face
and when i asked you what was wrong
you said you couldn;t find
your car sponge
and i flicked open th hatch
and handed you th brand new one
i'd just bought
in and of itself
i s'pose it wasn;t much
but it moved me
it moved me a lot
maybe i'll never forget you
+++
di just sent another
meet for coffee next time im down coast
yeah babe
+++
bree was th only girl
who took me dirty dancing
who drove
everybody else
scabbed a lift off me
i didnt sleep in their beds
but i slept in hers
torture for paulie to sleep
next to a woman he's not fucking
but for you
do th same as i did for my wives
+++
boy did i meet you at th wrong time
and um bree
you didnt know i was facing a sexchange did ya ?
funny thing is
th unicyle saved me
here's me
tryin to set up multiple girlfriends
to live thru old age
or at least to
old age
cause my life expectancy was a bit low
and th bloody unicycle saved me
makes th testicles
comfortably numb
couple of mondays
i had a real bad time
with th pain
sometimes i got shitty at ya
and sometimes not
not really your fault
fuck you're good looking
and smell nice too
ah well
see ya later cute arse
+++
"that's not my paulie"
"i want my paulie", she cried
sorry did i forget to change after i left her house ?
that's right
you went out with jennifer
while di went out with paulie
cause paulie was confused
and building a personality to cope after
your paulie lived with jane for a while after that
till th sex dried up
but she wanted me to have th sexchange
she loved jennifer
paulie i dont think she gave a fuck about
although now
well last timewe spoke
she claims she never said that
but jennifer knows better
+++
"she did"
+++
glad i didnt put you through
what jane went through
i liked ya too much
and i told ya outright
sweetheart
i dont wanna ever get bored of you
you aren;t a roll in th hay to me
although
sex every day for six months or so
with you
woulda been fantastic
fuck we shared some stories
ya know
i think we communicated
better than di and i ever did
as soon as ya fuck em
it changes everything
+++
lee
ya mad bitch
jeez i wanna go dancin with ya again
i havent been dancin
since i did that gig at your local hall
course it only ever really worked right
when di had fucked me several times
before we went out
to paint th town red
when ya think about it
di was pretty fucking good hey ?
wonder if our deal is still in effect ?
that aint for a text message
that's over a coffee
+++
"and where she can see your dick in your pants"
different strokes
for different folks
+++
karen walks in th door yesterday
said i looked like i had dirt on my face
turns her on
no babe
that's paint
black paint off a roof
funny isnt it
when i was screwin karen
if i put deodorant on
she'd just about throw me out th window
and ya go visit a girl like jane
to fuck her silly
you're best off smellin like flowers
told ya girl
jenny's got a sensitive nose
tone down th
fuckin versace perfume will ya ?
pretty girls dont listen to shit
+++
it was funny changing
from paulie into jenny
even if she called me paulie still
had to change clothes too of course
don;t like you in that
wear this
occasionally
th three of us would go out together
even more rare
we'd all go out together
and they'd both be cuddly
+++
once
i was even straight out with both of them
damn rare for me to be straight
with a woman
they dont wear it well
+++
when i trust you
not before
pain dear
+++
that time of day
almost dusk
time to go for a spin
a surf if you will
on my surf unicycle
and pop into th shop
on th way back
and pick up some durries
and
maybe even th perennial
man i wish i could fuckin do that
that is cool
well
i saw a guy ride by
my house
on a unicycle with a shoppin bag over his shoulder
dead casual
and it's about what i thought
i had given em a go earlier in life
but
i was off th road
temporarily
and couldnt ride my sidecar
so
i'll give it a go
i can fuckin do that
it is fuckin cool
later
.
.
.
the unicycle surfer
+++
p.s.
it was a nice ride
+++
not impressed victoria
i dont like being threatened with th street
just cause you had an argument with your sister
although i think
my brother wouldn;t throw me in th street
same way jane did
on december 23rd
she made sure she got the next two weeks rent first too hey
+++
it's too fuckin easy hey mate
+++
battery's died in th guitar tuner
one of those days
+++
just sit in my box for a while
+++
at least i havent got ryan pissing in my ear
no that;s cruel
+++
maybe if i just...
+++
"go back to working"
you wanna go back to pain every day ?
"seems to me this is painful"
"you dont talk about it"
+++
time i disappeared again
+++
bart was right though
i'd figured pretty much th same thing
+++
shoulda disappeared
sara came round
pissed as
with a friend
jabbed me in th abs
and in th ribs
told me to put some weight on
fuck she's pissed
i got two cuddles
and i was runnin away
you're little brother's friend
they've all taken off for th pub
think he's drivin em home
ah man
+++
wel th pot's runout
so my dealer should be
probly a hundred miles away right
+++
not that you wouldnt be fun sara
but he's th non drinking one
poured her a home made bourbon
but she cant stomach it either
beer drinker
+++
th f drive has gone mute
its a spare cd drive
and it's got
f mute
written on it
but that was cause it wouldnt play music cds
read data just fine
light's gone off
no power
mute now ya fucker
+++
city high
"three way"
+++
glad i took th
sarong off
when sara rang im cumin in five minutes
and threw on some pants
i woulda lost it
+++
was funny man
+++
we were watchin band of brothers
and it's
oh my god
there's girls comin over
and th batchelor pad
looks kinda lived in
so i was in th sink when they arrived
washin th boys dishes
***
we try to avoid
takin chicks home
always been this way
live in a pigsty so ya cant
dont come around
that's six walked thru th door since yesterday morning but
<<< smile >>>
+++
"you had a good look sara"
+++
proddin th sixpack
made sure i sat
over there
on th other couch
+++
he should go out with you
it'd loosen him up a bit
ya do like him
+++
thursday night isnt looking promising
im owed money
but
she's unreliable
little brother called me mad
lendin money out on a pension
ah well
+++
i dont call him little brother much
twice my size
+++
balance
in all things
+++
ya cant see a friend stuck
if ya can help
you try to
+++
paulies theory of life
note
theory
if i ever get it right
fuck that
ya cant get it right
there's no such thing as
perfect balance
but ya try
+++
just spent a fascinating hour
readin th
history of th automobile
+++
random number generators
+++
he didnt get lucky
i woulda put money on it
+++
she is funny
+++
but you'll take him to grandmas
ah you;re funny
+++
"cute too"
now now
"he had victoria in his ear this afternoon"
life's fun hey
"ya mad prick"
"ya drove to see frannie"
im runnin a day early this week
"ok wiz"
you can fuck off now
+++
"bastard"
bitch"
+++
clean my fucking hashpipe
"as long as ya buy another battery for th guitar tuner"
deal
+++
<<< smile >>>
what drug lethargia ?
+++
violent femmes
"i held her in my arms"
+++
no i fuckin didnt
+++
she's a naughty girl
+++
got a bit of magic too
bugger off
+++
i hate bein psychic sometimes
+++
and morticia wants to have a coffee
+++
ah babe
i have missed ya
+++
now which was morticia's paulie ?
+++
so many women
and so much fun
and can i stay out of their beds ?
i try to keep this one
dirty enough they wont come in
but a couple have laid on it anyway
even put it up on milk crates to discourage that kinda activity
you're joking right
as if
+++
sometimes ya cant win
+++
i'll go for a nice ride tomorrow
on my unicycle
+++
cmon di
you said come home and we'll just cuddle
+++
it's a repeating cycle
goin out with th same person
for like seven relationships
+++
unicycle
the karmic wheel...
+++
well i'll be fucked
was writin about di last night
she's been over in New Zealand
just sent me a message
called me gorgeous again
hmm
+++
a boy can't help it
+++
"if i write about melissa"
"will she contact me th next day ?"
sorry
"bugger"
+++
"real life sucks , where are th drugs ?"
haven;t arrived yet
you'll have to make do with these
+++
"am i allowed to miss er ?"
i guess
+++
i wrote that condom story up last night di
th one you used to tell your friends
cause i was thinkin on what
karen was gunna read in my diary
doin you in th front door of th grannie bar
and stuff
out there girl
there's about three years of you
on weekends
and me
and th things we all got up to
wonder how karen will read the
dirty dancin with five of your friends
while you go hit another bar
takin phone numbers for durin th week
actually she knows
been livin vicariously thru me for a while
just wants to read it
rather than listen to it
i guess i am hard to turn off
where's th fuckin switch ?
anyway magic girl
i'll see ya
+++
coffee sometime soon
+++
and not in that restaurant where th male waiter has a crush on me
ok ?
+++
i have enough gay guys
askin me to take my clothes off
+++
"it's not still bothering you ?"
would i have stuck that blow up baseball up my bum
and ridden round th valley after midnight on th unicycle if it was ?
"i dunno"
some of those comments man
make my bottom sore just thinkin about it
+++
oh sweet lady of lethargia
don;t fail me now
+++
i'm still fucked about bree di
a man should never fall in love with two women at th same time
dont have to have sex with em
to be madly in love
s'pose i should add lee to that
with bree and lee both dirty dancin with me
half hour after i climbed outta your bed
was mad
crawlin back into bed
round six am
after singin
and unicylin
and dancin all night
come to think of it
it's a fuckin long time
since i've gone clubbin with facepaint
memories hey ?
leavin
paint all over your shower
i cant really paint here
facepaint that is
bathroom is too close to he
who sleeps light
ppl stil flip out th same but
i do it on occasion
full moons and stuff
just wanna say i had a good time
+++
bree
you haven;t haunted me in a while
stopped talkin to di for a bit
and i stopped thinkin of ya
somehow
in my mind
i can never let go
of th weekends i spent
sleepin at di's on friday and saturday
and your place on sundays
my toe that got run over by th forklift
healed well
and i got to keep it
affected my unicycling for a good eighteen months though
took ages to find that edge again
i sometimes wonder
whether
you still have my first unicycle
and whether you ever had another go
rode three pedals backwards on yur first attempt
and silly me
i fell in love
memories of running down a beach with you
and sitting by th river
soaking my damaged toe in th water
and smoking cones with ya
in your bed
goin dirty dancing together
and laughing with ya
cause they all thought we were screwin
cept di of course
she made sure i was damn empty
before i went to sleep with you
fuck we were strange
and lee
felt like a ping pong ball
and you and di and i
all had a little siver hatch
but bree
the day that always sticks out in my mind
is th day i pulled in th drive
and i'd stopped at th supercheap store
and bought a car spnge
on th way
you had th hos ein your hand
a perplexed look on your gorgeous face
and when i asked you what was wrong
you said you couldn;t find
your car sponge
and i flicked open th hatch
and handed you th brand new one
i'd just bought
in and of itself
i s'pose it wasn;t much
but it moved me
it moved me a lot
maybe i'll never forget you
+++
di just sent another
meet for coffee next time im down coast
yeah babe
+++
bree was th only girl
who took me dirty dancing
who drove
everybody else
scabbed a lift off me
i didnt sleep in their beds
but i slept in hers
torture for paulie to sleep
next to a woman he's not fucking
but for you
do th same as i did for my wives
+++
boy did i meet you at th wrong time
and um bree
you didnt know i was facing a sexchange did ya ?
funny thing is
th unicyle saved me
here's me
tryin to set up multiple girlfriends
to live thru old age
or at least to
old age
cause my life expectancy was a bit low
and th bloody unicycle saved me
makes th testicles
comfortably numb
couple of mondays
i had a real bad time
with th pain
sometimes i got shitty at ya
and sometimes not
not really your fault
fuck you're good looking
and smell nice too
ah well
see ya later cute arse
+++
"that's not my paulie"
"i want my paulie", she cried
sorry did i forget to change after i left her house ?
that's right
you went out with jennifer
while di went out with paulie
cause paulie was confused
and building a personality to cope after
your paulie lived with jane for a while after that
till th sex dried up
but she wanted me to have th sexchange
she loved jennifer
paulie i dont think she gave a fuck about
although now
well last timewe spoke
she claims she never said that
but jennifer knows better
+++
"she did"
+++
glad i didnt put you through
what jane went through
i liked ya too much
and i told ya outright
sweetheart
i dont wanna ever get bored of you
you aren;t a roll in th hay to me
although
sex every day for six months or so
with you
woulda been fantastic
fuck we shared some stories
ya know
i think we communicated
better than di and i ever did
as soon as ya fuck em
it changes everything
+++
lee
ya mad bitch
jeez i wanna go dancin with ya again
i havent been dancin
since i did that gig at your local hall
course it only ever really worked right
when di had fucked me several times
before we went out
to paint th town red
when ya think about it
di was pretty fucking good hey ?
wonder if our deal is still in effect ?
that aint for a text message
that's over a coffee
+++
"and where she can see your dick in your pants"
different strokes
for different folks
+++
karen walks in th door yesterday
said i looked like i had dirt on my face
turns her on
no babe
that's paint
black paint off a roof
funny isnt it
when i was screwin karen
if i put deodorant on
she'd just about throw me out th window
and ya go visit a girl like jane
to fuck her silly
you're best off smellin like flowers
told ya girl
jenny's got a sensitive nose
tone down th
fuckin versace perfume will ya ?
pretty girls dont listen to shit
+++
it was funny changing
from paulie into jenny
even if she called me paulie still
had to change clothes too of course
don;t like you in that
wear this
occasionally
th three of us would go out together
even more rare
we'd all go out together
and they'd both be cuddly
+++
once
i was even straight out with both of them
damn rare for me to be straight
with a woman
they dont wear it well
+++
when i trust you
not before
pain dear
+++
that time of day
almost dusk
time to go for a spin
a surf if you will
on my surf unicycle
and pop into th shop
on th way back
and pick up some durries
and
maybe even th perennial
man i wish i could fuckin do that
that is cool
well
i saw a guy ride by
my house
on a unicycle with a shoppin bag over his shoulder
dead casual
and it's about what i thought
i had given em a go earlier in life
but
i was off th road
temporarily
and couldnt ride my sidecar
so
i'll give it a go
i can fuckin do that
it is fuckin cool
later
.
.
.
the unicycle surfer
+++
p.s.
it was a nice ride
+++
not impressed victoria
i dont like being threatened with th street
just cause you had an argument with your sister
although i think
my brother wouldn;t throw me in th street
same way jane did
on december 23rd
she made sure she got the next two weeks rent first too hey
+++
it's too fuckin easy hey mate
+++
battery's died in th guitar tuner
one of those days
+++
just sit in my box for a while
+++
at least i havent got ryan pissing in my ear
no that;s cruel
+++
maybe if i just...
+++
"go back to working"
you wanna go back to pain every day ?
"seems to me this is painful"
"you dont talk about it"
+++
time i disappeared again
+++
bart was right though
i'd figured pretty much th same thing
+++
shoulda disappeared
sara came round
pissed as
with a friend
jabbed me in th abs
and in th ribs
told me to put some weight on
fuck she's pissed
i got two cuddles
and i was runnin away
you're little brother's friend
they've all taken off for th pub
think he's drivin em home
ah man
+++
wel th pot's runout
so my dealer should be
probly a hundred miles away right
+++
not that you wouldnt be fun sara
but he's th non drinking one
poured her a home made bourbon
but she cant stomach it either
beer drinker
+++
th f drive has gone mute
its a spare cd drive
and it's got
f mute
written on it
but that was cause it wouldnt play music cds
read data just fine
light's gone off
no power
mute now ya fucker
+++
city high
"three way"
+++
glad i took th
sarong off
when sara rang im cumin in five minutes
and threw on some pants
i woulda lost it
+++
was funny man
+++
we were watchin band of brothers
and it's
oh my god
there's girls comin over
and th batchelor pad
looks kinda lived in
so i was in th sink when they arrived
washin th boys dishes
***
we try to avoid
takin chicks home
always been this way
live in a pigsty so ya cant
dont come around
that's six walked thru th door since yesterday morning but
<<< smile >>>
+++
"you had a good look sara"
+++
proddin th sixpack
made sure i sat
over there
on th other couch
+++
he should go out with you
it'd loosen him up a bit
ya do like him
+++
thursday night isnt looking promising
im owed money
but
she's unreliable
little brother called me mad
lendin money out on a pension
ah well
+++
i dont call him little brother much
twice my size
+++
balance
in all things
+++
ya cant see a friend stuck
if ya can help
you try to
+++
paulies theory of life
note
theory
if i ever get it right
fuck that
ya cant get it right
there's no such thing as
perfect balance
but ya try
+++
just spent a fascinating hour
readin th
history of th automobile
+++
random number generators
+++
he didnt get lucky
i woulda put money on it
+++
she is funny
+++
but you'll take him to grandmas
ah you;re funny
+++
"cute too"
now now
"he had victoria in his ear this afternoon"
life's fun hey
"ya mad prick"
"ya drove to see frannie"
im runnin a day early this week
"ok wiz"
you can fuck off now
+++
"bastard"
bitch"
+++
clean my fucking hashpipe
"as long as ya buy another battery for th guitar tuner"
deal
+++
<<< smile >>>
what drug lethargia ?
+++
violent femmes
"i held her in my arms"
+++
no i fuckin didnt
+++
she's a naughty girl
+++
got a bit of magic too
bugger off
+++
i hate bein psychic sometimes
+++
and morticia wants to have a coffee
+++
ah babe
i have missed ya
+++
now which was morticia's paulie ?
+++
so many women
and so much fun
and can i stay out of their beds ?
i try to keep this one
dirty enough they wont come in
but a couple have laid on it anyway
even put it up on milk crates to discourage that kinda activity
you're joking right
as if
+++
sometimes ya cant win
+++
i'll go for a nice ride tomorrow
on my unicycle
+++
cmon di
you said come home and we'll just cuddle
+++
it's a repeating cycle
goin out with th same person
for like seven relationships
+++
unicycle
the karmic wheel...